Car Scratch Fever

Things were starting to look up. After just one day of banishment to the "bad cat box" my cat started to behave himself. Before that, he was prancing around, meowing and waking up the entire household at 3:00 am. He'd jump up on any surface available and knock stuff on the floor. He seemed to react to the gentle chastisement. Ever since, he's been a perfect angel (perhaps not surprising since his name is Angel). And my impatiens finally seem to have spurts of life in them.

Elated, I drove to the local drug mart to take advantage of bargains in mundane household items like paper towels, toilet tissue and soap. It's a small parking lot and usually quite busy, but on this Friday afternoon I found a spot with empty places on both sides. Perfectly safe, or so I thought.




When I came back to the car a lady approached me and said that the driver on my left had scratched my car upon parking. Sure enough; not a huge mark but very visible and flecked with blue paint. The car beside me was a blue Toyota. I thanked the lady and she provided her name and number and offered to be a witness. She described the driver as an "old lady." I was half expecting the poor woman to be in her 80s with an accent like Mrs Doubtfire and I would be heartbroken to approach her about the incident.

I wrote down the licence number of the offending car and waited for the driver. When she appeared, she wasn't that old - around 60 - but she turned out to be most vile, rude and obnoxious person I've had the misfortune to deal with. She denied up and down that she ever hit may car. When I showed her the blue paint scuffs on my side panel and the scratch on her car, she shouted "I've had that mark for 5 years! You're scamming me! You weren't even here when I parked! There was nobody!"

There was yet more ranting when I mentioned my witness. "She didn't see anything! It's a frame up! She's a friend of yours!" Then the car to her right changed from being non-existent to a black sedan to a Jeep. " Some other blue car hit you! It wasn't me!"

I requested her information as required by the Highway Traffic Act. She repeatedly and obstinately refused. This is an infraction that calls for quite severe penalties:

The penalty for failing to report a collision and/or failing to provide the necessary information is a fine of $200 to $1,000, three demerit points, a possible jail term and driver's licence suspension.The penalty for leaving the scene of a collision includes seven demerit points.

Normally the police don't come to an accident scene but when I called and described the situation they did send an officer. He demanded that she give me her information, and when he viewed both cars, he told the woman that it didn't look good for her. He ordered her to report to a Collision Reporting Centre within 24 hours. I needed to go as well, something I needed like a hole in the head.

Still, the damage was easily worth $1000 and I was determined that the guilty party pay. It's a pretty slick operation at the CRC. They take down the information, look at the vehicles and make a determination of fault.

This is how I expect it to play out: I will have my car fixed at the place of my choosing. I will be able to rent another car during the repair period. My insurance company will handle the claim and pay the whole shot under Direct Compensation with zero deductible. The other driver's insurance company will accept 100 per cent responsibility, and her rates will go up.

As well they should. The innocent motoring public needs to be protected from unconscionable drivers like this who think nothing of trying to pull off a hit-and-run.

Banter With the Right and the Conrad Black Sentencing Pool

I enjoy engaging right-wingers every now and then. I find their "me-first" attitude unfortunate and their sense of moral superiority amusing. But I try to refrain from the name-calling and insults that seem to characterize right-wing discourse. During the 2003 Ontario Provincial election, Liberal leader (and now Premier) Dalton McGuinty was called "Dalton McSquinty" and "Dalton McGimpy" by supporters of then-Conservative leader and Premier Ernie Eves (who, despite initially passing himself off as a moderate, saw the light just before the campaign and embraced a far-right platform).

I sign my name "Denny" in most on-line discussion groups and when I weighed in on the reaction to Conrad Black's convictions, one of Black's hard-line backers called me "Denny Lane." If the poster was referring to lead singer Denny Laine of the Moody Blues, then the attempt at an insult probably backfired. Anyway, that person's bluster was so devoid of logic that I felt quite confident this time leaving a right-winger with the last word.

Last night I was talking to an old friend who is also an avid right-winger, and like most of his ilk, said that Black was "railroaded" and didn't do anything wrong. Where we got into it was the sentence that Black will be handed down on November 30th. He said it will be 2 years or less, which had me gasping with disbelief. The obstruction charge alone carries a maximum 20 year penalty, then there are 3 fraud charges, each with a 5-year maximum. While I certainly don't think Black will get the maximum on each and receive consecutive terms, I believe it will be more than 10 years and most likely 12. Anyway, we placed a bet for 50 bucks - he says 2 years or less and I say 5 years or more. I guess if it's anywhere greater that 2 and less than 5, nobody wins.

Enough, already. I'm not going to write a single thing more about Conrad Black until sentencing day, and maybe not even then (especially if I lose the bet). I've got more pressing things to concern myself with.

First, trying to get my cat to behave.

Second, trying to get my impatiens to grow.

Is the Green-Eyed Monster Responsible for Conrad Black's Demise?

The conviction of Conrad Black on charges of fraud and obstruction of justice is the biggest news to hit Canada in quite some time. Black has been both a Canadian icon and pariah, both revered and loathed. Still, I believe that even his greatest detractors cannot help but be fascinated by him. I have always dismissed the man as a pompous blowhard. When he renounced his Canadian citizenship to become a British Lord, I just shook my head and considered him one of the most eccentric oddballs around. But then, as Kramer observed of the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld, "most geniuses are."

There have been myriad reactions to Black's convictions and most opine that the jury was conscientious and methodical and their verdicts fair. Some responses have been vigorous in defending Black, saying that he was railroaded, the prosecution was like a hunting safari obsessed with bagging a Lord, and that Black was "wrongfully convicted." The commonality in just about every one of these posters is that they share Black's ultra-right wing political ideology.

But by far the most over the top remark was this one: "It's human nature to want what other people have, and if you can't get it, then you destroy what that other person has. This is called JEALOUSY with a huge dose of ENVY."

I've never read such hogwash. Black is not the wealthiest man on the planet; there are people with far more riches to induce even more jealousy. To follow this logic, they'd all be dogged by prosecutors - Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, Ted Turner. No. Black's trial followed lengthy investigations by the US Justice Department and the SEC. And just how does a person get investigated in the first place? Let's see - there are suspicions that said person did something untoward? There we go; no suspicions, no investigation. It's as simple as that.

The government produced evidence of wrongdoing, and a jury with no preconceived notions of guilt or innocence concurred with some if not all of the accusations.

With his attitude, Black literally triple-dog-dared the authorities to come after him. He's had his day in court and now Black is headed off - not to the British House of Lords - but to the Big House.

The Eerie Nature of Number 13

I never considered myself to be afflicted with triskaidekaphobia. I've stayed on the 13th floor of hotels (whenever they've had one) and I've flown in planes on Friday the 13th. I've never hesitated to buy a baker's dozen of bagels. But I'll just bet there's at least one person who may come down with the disorder - Conrad Black. The controversial Canadian business tycoon was found guilty of obstruction of justice and 3 counts of mail fraud following a four-month trial in a Chicago court.

When you look at the numbers involved in the proceedings, there's a spooky common factor. Black was charged with a total of 13 felony counts. The most serious conviction for obstruction relates to Black removing 13 boxes of documents from his Toronto office, contrary to a court order. Of 42 counts against Black and his 3 co-defendants there were 13 guilty verdicts returned. The jury's decision was returned on Friday the 13th.

The prosecution says it will ask for Black to serve between 15 and 20 years in prison. I will become a complete believer in the power of this mystical number should Black be sentenced to 13 years. Sentencing is set for November the 13th - I'm kidding - November 30, 2007.